My Star

You Are my Star
Like the suns shines through
The first thing I see is You
You are the center of my world, my galaxy, my universe
I'd fall off my axis if I didn't think of You first
I need to blink a few times whenever I see You
So beautiful, I can't believe that it's true.
You are my Star
My vixen, my leading lady, oh, to share a scene
We can get Lost In Translation, if You know what I mean
I can be Your Bodyguard, protect You, my Dreamgirl
Yes, You're my Pretty Woman, You make a dress look Mean Girl
Forget the Boyz In The Hood, I can be Your Best Man
Let me be your Original Sin, and forget about the ex man
You are my Star.
Like the stars in the sky, in darkness You are my light
And You're there in my dreams, so you stay through the night
On top of a tree, on top of my world
I place You on a pedestal. If You were my girl
I reach for You, through the good, the bad, through it all
You are my Star
I can't wait for You to fall.

True.Real.Everlasting

Don't Judge Me

You keep expecting me to run away or do something wrong.
So when I catch you in some shit, it's the same old song.
Who I met. How I acted. What I said. Before you.
So damn who I met, how I acted, and what I said.
Cause that was BEFORE YOU!
Of course I hit that. I never denied it.
But that was before you and I were ever decided.
Threesomes, and more, I tried it. That used to get me excited.
But that flame has been extinguished, and you always try to ignite it.
Yeah, my past is tarnished, but you ain't a saint yourself.
I need you to stop stressing over this, cause it's not good for your health.
No, that's not a threat so don't take it as such.
I wouldn't dream of hurting someone I love so much.
But these empty accusations, is leading to so much frustration
that I'm truly contemplating on finding another destination.
You've heard so many lies, that you can't believe the truth.
How bout this? I'll buy you a new Benz tomorrow if you show me some proof.
I'll wait.......

Oh, here's my cellphone. See if you can find anything.



Are you through?
Oh, all them pictures are of you.



Wait, don't give it back. Let's switch phones for a week.
Oh you can't do that? Expecting a call? Oh, I see.
That doesn't prove anything? I know. Who said we had to stop?
Let's go and see what we can find on the laptop.
I won't stop you from doing anything, I'll let you just look.
Here's my email account, my Twitter, and Facebook.
Take your time.




Don't forget my indox and DMs.




Okay, you can wipe that dumb look off your face.
Now that I've put you in it, remember, no one can ever take your place.
Cause i'm not the boy I was, I'm the man I am.
And I appreciate the fact that you even give a damn.
But I'm your man. Anything you wanna know just ask.
But my past is just that, my past.
YOU are my LAST.

True.Real.Everlasting

Not Afraid

I'm not afraid of death. I've lived it.
I've watched it, I've dealt with it. I've not dealt with it.
I'm moved on from it. I've carried it with me.
I've buried it in my memories, only to be reminded on days when I wanna call those who heaven has taken.
I've planned death, and felt it in me.
I've struggled with death. The death of family, friends, strangers.
But I don't fear death.
I fear not waking up in the morning.
I fear not saying I love you to those you mean the most to me.
Not hugging my little sister when she needs a shoulder to cry on.
Not being able to answer the phone when I'm the first person called.
I fear not meeting Her, making Her happy, and having a child with Her.
Not being able to say how I feel not knowing the outcome.
Whether it be good or bad, I fear not being able to see the consequences of my actions.
I fear fame, but at the same time I feel the fear of not becoming that.
Not laughing with my friends when I could be alone crying.
I fear not taking chances.
Not telling anyone that I ever hurt that I'm sorry.
Not forgiving those who've hurt me.
I fear not reaching my potential.
Not seing how far I've come.
Not seeing how far I still have to go.
You may question my decisions, call me reckless, carefree, or crazy.
But if I die doing what God put me here to do, I will have conquered my biggest fear. For I am not afraid of dying,
I'm afraid of NOT LIVING. True.Real.Everlasting

Tears Of A Clown

"Hi, we're gonna take good care of you. I'm nurse Emily." If she only knew the irony of that short introduction. At this moment, with everything in my life piled up on me and attempting to deal with it in an extreme fashion, all could do is laugh. As my aunt groaned and whispered, "Is there another nurse. That name is part of the reason he's here.", I realized that it is damn near impossible to run from your problems. Before I go any further, I wanna thank those of you who knew about this, and not only stuck beside me, but allowed me to tell it on my own time. And for those who consider themselves close to me and didn't know, it's doesn't mean we're not close. I just had to deal with my struggles in my own way. On July 31, 2012, I attempted suicide. It wasn't a cry for help. I didn't tweet or post anything to make people feel pity or try to save me. I was way past that. In fact only one person knew. For all intents and purposes, I was planning to die on that rainy sunday. For quite a few years now, I've suffered with depression. Like many people who have it, especially men, I hid it. I wore a smile as a mask in front of even the most intimate of friends and family. I went out of my way to avoid talking about anything that I felt hurt me.In fact, trying to make others laugh instead of crying over my struggles is probably the main reason I started comedy in the first place. The worst thing about dealing with depression is that you feel you are alone, yet you don't wanna bother people with your problems so you keep it to yourself, so in actually, you are the reason you feel alone. That's the vicious cycle. I was constantly thinking of suicide the entire week before, and no one, not even my parents who both saw me that friday, had any clue that anything was wrong. Faking being happy was the most exhausting thing I have ever done. I'm not writing this for sympathy. Honestly, I don't need it. I'm happy now. I graduate in 2 weeks, I have a great foundation of friends and family around me, I no longer feel like I have to keep things bottled up, and most of all, I want to LIVE! Yes, I still struggle. Some days I still feel alone. But it's alot less. I'm motivated to see what's out there. I'm writing this for people who have been were I was or are still there. I'm writing this for people who may not notice that the friend that is always there to help but not ask may just be afraid to ask. In my first therapy session, my aunt went down a whole list of things that happened that triggered emotions in me, but I never realized that those things were the very things that caused extreme emotional shifts within myself. In order for any disease to have a cure, you have to find the cause. If you can save someone's life by just picking up a phone or texting them, why wouldn't you? I promise, sometimes that all someone may need. In no particular order, I wanna thank everyone who's been apart of my journey to being happy this past year; Mom (both of you), dad, Cynthia (I may not be here without you), Val, Ann, Alex, T Barbara, T Rue, Fran, Edd, Mia, September, Lynn, Ashley, Chamieka, Lish, Tye, Tanesha (all three of y'all), Vandell, Brittany, Kenyatta, Virshina, Brian, Takelia, Jessica, and so many other people that have been there, sometimes unknowingly, to help me realize that life is to be enjoyed. I love you all.

I Can Do It Too

Do I go to the doctor's office and tell them that I can prescribe medicine? Hey, I give people Excedrin if they have a headache. Do I tell the locksmith that I can fix locks? I mean I've broken into a house or two(all my dwellings of course). Do I tell Peyton Manning that I could be a quarterback if I wanted to? People say I can throw a ball. Do I tell the pastor of my church that I could preach? I know scriptures.
The answer to all of those questions is "NO"! SO WHY THE F--- DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TELL ME YOU SHOULD DO COMEDY?! People say that you're funny? Well were there strangers judging you from the moment you stepped onstage? Was what you said an inside joke that only you and your inner circles of friends would get? Can you take being under hot lights, having people hang on your every word, and think on your toes if things don't go your way? Can you make people laugh from what you come up with or what you heard Katt Williams say?
You can sing. I can't. You can design a house. I can't. You can fly a plane. I can't. I can do comedy. YOU CAN'T! This is mine! I'm not gonna lessen the value of what you do by saying I can do it even though I have never tried it. So why not treat me the same? You wanna get onstage? I invite you to do it. But until you've felt that microphone in your had and got that first laugh, do me a favor...SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Here's A Story...

Ok, I heard a really interesting story today that I would like to share. There are 2 young boys, one white, and one black, walking down the street together. Along the way the white child picks up a rope and carries it, white the black child grabs a stick as his souvenir. When they get done with the walk the black kid asks his white friend, "Why did you pick up that rope?" The little white boy's answer was simple to him. "I have this rope so that when I climb up to the top, I can pull my people up with me. Why did you pick up that stick?" The black kid's answer was just as simple. "I have this stick so that when I get to the top I can beat my people from coming up there."
All I can say to this story is that when that white kid pulls his people up there, they will be able to push him up higher. His "top" has unlimited potential. That black kid, his "top" will surely be limited.

Lack Entertainment Television

If you follow me on twitter, or know me personally, it is no secret that I don't watch BET. Now to be fair, I don't watch a lot of television. There's Family Guy, The Boondocks, most sports, any stand up, and every so often I might catch some WWE tv. But for the most part, that's it. Television, in my view, is mostly useless and not entertaining.
With that being said, I have no problem with there being a Black Entertainment Television network. Like most institutions of America, black representation on television has been limited at best. For every one Cosby Show there were 5 white shows. Much like we established Historically Black Colleges to give blacks equal education, BET was formed to give us equal entertainment.
Here lies my issue with BET. Black culture is not represented well. If I was to show a foreigner who's never been around black people BET, he would have a jaded view on what is an diverse and proud race. Artists with meaningful videos take a backseat to blinged out ignorance. Wholesome sitcoms are replaced with reality shows based in the most outlandish coonery. Talk shows about serious issues in black society have turned into reruns of bad ghetto B-movies.
Frankie and Neffie is an inspiration to...nothing. Tiny and Toya are washed up. Michael Vick is old news and not a role model. 106 and Park is a joke. The Monique Show is a modern day chitlin circuit. BET is not quality television in the least.
As a person who watches less tv than most, I can argue that most the stuff on television is garbage, which I do. But the fact that BET is supposed to represent my race makes me put it on a higher curve. If they would allow more intelligent programming, I wouldn't have an issue. But until that happens I will continue not to watch. Because it is not a proper representation of us, therefore I don't consider it black. It is not entertaining. All it remains to be is television. So I'm gonna go read a book. Let me know if you find something good on.