Not Afraid

I'm not afraid of death. I've lived it.
I've watched it, I've dealt with it. I've not dealt with it.
I'm moved on from it. I've carried it with me.
I've buried it in my memories, only to be reminded on days when I wanna call those who heaven has taken.
I've planned death, and felt it in me.
I've struggled with death. The death of family, friends, strangers.
But I don't fear death.
I fear not waking up in the morning.
I fear not saying I love you to those you mean the most to me.
Not hugging my little sister when she needs a shoulder to cry on.
Not being able to answer the phone when I'm the first person called.
I fear not meeting Her, making Her happy, and having a child with Her.
Not being able to say how I feel not knowing the outcome.
Whether it be good or bad, I fear not being able to see the consequences of my actions.
I fear fame, but at the same time I feel the fear of not becoming that.
Not laughing with my friends when I could be alone crying.
I fear not taking chances.
Not telling anyone that I ever hurt that I'm sorry.
Not forgiving those who've hurt me.
I fear not reaching my potential.
Not seing how far I've come.
Not seeing how far I still have to go.
You may question my decisions, call me reckless, carefree, or crazy.
But if I die doing what God put me here to do, I will have conquered my biggest fear. For I am not afraid of dying,
I'm afraid of NOT LIVING. True.Real.Everlasting